Alive

A moment of realisation;
My heart sinks
With such vigour
I feel I’ll follow it through the floor
My hands grasp at my chest

Clutching at the physical
In vain, hoping to steady
The racing
The aching
In the pit of my stomach
As you acknowledge me

With anxiety knocking
Rapidly at my ribcage
Giving me no rest
I fear I’ll fall
Into nothingness
In an oblivion
Of absence

Then you’re curt
Insensitive
Unkind
For a split second
For a fraction of a moment
No longer am I falling
I’m swimming
Sad

Swimming in sadness
Disappointed in your hurt
Unsure how to play your current game
I take my leave & my heart in hand
Lost

I am gone
You are omnipresent
In my world
Each breath held hostage
To a memory
Each thought entwined
With your deceit
Love

A moment of realisation;
I still love you
Always will in a way
My hands grasp at my chest
As I decide
To face my day
Alone

Alone but not lonely
Without the comfort of your lies
I am free
Even if I don’t know it in my heart
I know I am free
Alive

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