Delicious

Delicious irony mocks my memories
As I realise it’s gone
The heart break and thunder
Pain pulling back but driving on

Acute omnipresent pain
In my heart, the burning fire
At the moment you declare
You admit to me your desire
As I realise mine’s faded
The intricate lies we lived together
All the magic is gone
All the threads that were tethered

I’ve cut loose from my blind loyalty
And when I finally hear the words
I thought I longed for
I feel nothing, not even hurt
All I feel are the ghosts of pain
Enough to remind me
Not to go there again

I still love you
But I don’t want you
I still need you
But don’t desire you
I’m sorry to hurt you
And turn you away
But I need to move on
In my own way

I truly still care
I really did miss you
It was agony for weeks
‘Til my heart dismissed you

I just need to be clear
And I need to be strong
Ghosts trying to pull me back
But I want this to be gone
The feelings which overwhelmed
Are not so clear anymore
And the fear of losing you
It’s just not like before

And I’m proud that I’m here
I’m sorry you’re not
That I’ve made it through all this
Not quite forgiven or forgot
But at peace with the pain
And determination has won
At least for the moment
I can move on.

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