No

When I said no
You heard a challenge
Even though I told you
Of my fear of the damage
When I cried and left
You saw a chance

Even though I told you
That I’m done with this dance

When I said no
With fear, unstable
You abused your power
Knowing I was vulnerable
When I said no
It wasn’t in grey
But somehow feels ambiguous
In the cold light of day
But I was complicit
I also took part

So with shame in my voice
My expression is through art

Silence

A silence so heavy and hollow
It can wrap it’s fingers around your heart
Reaching through the inner shouts
And tormented voices
A silence so thick and empty
It can wrap itself around your mind
Reaching through to highlight the doubts
And question all your choices
The difference between lonely and alone
Is that silence you feel when all voices are gone
It’s that intrinsic belief you will always be one
The isolation is in your bones, as this heart-gripping silence becomes your home

Silence

A silence so thick, so deafening
I can feel it closing in around my cage
The cage supposing to protect my heart
The silence stifles as I force my breath to engage
A silence too cold, like lightening
I can feel it’s breath taking hold of my heart
The breath supposing to offer a beat of peace
Where my breath stutters, Silence’s breath starts

Out of reach

There’s a moment
In this turbulence
The trepidation as I step up to the crossroads
Where I realise
There’s a disturbance
The fear holds my heart steadfast as it implodes
In that moment
I realise, as my heart splits
There’s this void in myself that can’t be made complete
I’m still in love with you, despite it all
But I simply want to live
Is it too much to ask
Of my heart
To ask of you
Without falling further
Without falling apart

The life I have.

Not on the edge of what’s out of reach

Captivated

Intoxicated by you
I can’t resist your heart
But you tell me you still love me
And it tears me apart
Enraptured by you
It’s always like a dream
But you’ve chosen head over heart
So you will never again choose me
Infatuated with you
The way we connect the way we spark
But you’ve made your choice with no regrets
Whilst I’m trapped inside your heart
Captivated in a desire that is requited
To never be, and yet forever be yours

Crash

Hitting reality with a crash

When I’m reminded how you don’t want me 

After a week of chatter from over seas

Your hot-and-cold returns, my heart re-breaks and my hopes flee 

Thanks for the hope

And thanks for the intoxicating charm

And thanks for the cold hard truth

As the floor falls away, I’m suddenly disarmed

Glass

Like splintered glass

Your words pierce silence

Pulling me back

Abruptly comforting

Transparently cutting

Through noise,

Thank you

Orpheus 

Taking time by the hand

She walks

Looking to the future

An Orpheus curse

But despite her aching heart

She never turns back

Words

The power of words

Your words

Presuming an absent presence

Habitually echoing

As I hope in vein

Wishing 

Willing them

Not to exist