Lament

Sometimes there’s just no space to feel anything
Other than what’s expected
Go through the motions
Do what’s predicted
Don’t cause a fuss
And stay unaffected.
Sometimes I lament
I prophesise and I long for,
Just sometimes I feel it would be easier,
If I could be gone for
A heart beat or a moment
A moment, a minute

Continue reading “Lament”

Captivated

Intoxicated by you
I can’t resist your heart
But you tell me you still love me
And it tears me apart
Enraptured by you
It’s always like a dream
But you’ve chosen head over heart
So you will never again choose me
Infatuated with you
The way we connect the way we spark
But you’ve made your choice with no regrets
Whilst I’m trapped inside your heart
Captivated in a desire that is requited
To never be, and yet forever be yours

Bad timing

It was just bad timing
As you always said it was
When we fell, when we met
When you left, I was bereft

It was just bad timing
As you always knew it was
When we kissed, when we fell
When I lost myself, heartbroken hell

Bad timing
Syncopated love
Taken in stolen seconds
Shared in vain
Bad timing
Syncopated hearts
Loving in moments
Left in pain

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Run

Sometimes the desire to run
Takes over from everything you love
The job, the family, the friends you have
will be lost, unforgotten, loved and yet, gone
As you acknowledge their kindness
But fail to see, how settled in their love
You can ever truly be

I want to run
I want to escape
Because the love I had
Won’t ever really be
The life I thought
Not the life I knew
Will my heart ever be
Truly free of you?

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In another life

You said, in another life,
You said, if only 20 years ago,
You said, you couldn’t because,
And then, we carried on in our glow.

You said, you could fall in love,
You said, you wished you could give
me everything you felt I deserved,
And then, I watched you live

You said, if only we met before
You said, in another life
You said, you could fall in love
Now I see you with her, it’s like a knife

I say, I never asked for much
I say, I fell for you hard
I say, I deserved better
I feel my heart wrench apart

I say, you were a coward and cruel,
Just disappearing, you could’ve just said
I say, you never gave me a chance
Sadly…
I say all this –
In my head

Rain, reflected

The rain thunders lightly on the floor,
With each tap-thud-drip my heart sinks some more
The greyness and the thunder
Like the beast inside my chest
Pulling at the fractured shards
Never stopping, he’ll never rest
The rain reflects the light in each falling gem
Like the flicker in my heart that I’ll be whole once again
The dancing of the light
Like the sprite inside my mind
Holding onto the smallest glimmer
Knowing it will pass in time
The rain runs and runs, pouring across the scene
Like the cascading fear and tears I choke-back; not to be seen
The lightening startles, it cuts
Like your words through my facade
Intricate, beautiful but broken
Why do I let down my guard
The rain thunders, reflects and runs, like a river to a stream
I’m saddened by how much it still hurts that you could be so false with me

A Chance

It’s been hard to take, and hold two things as one
Understanding that I’m hurt, yet my feelings for you are gone
Not forgotten, not dead, not nothing,
Just not breaking and twisting and turning.

How can that be, that these two are okay,
That it hurts like nothing else, that I lost you in that way
That I care, that I miss, that I cry
But for the past, for hope, for what’s denied

It made no sense, and for so long I fought
The pain meant I still loved you, or so I had thought
And I do, and I did, and I don’t as I did
This new equilibrium means both can live

Continue reading “A Chance”

Careless

Drawing it out
With each passing day
I’m hurting in my heart
As you push me away
So much is unspoken
In the year that has passed
Storytelling in silence
To make the hope last

I don’t want to play games
Or hurt you in turn
I only wish you were careful
If only you could learn
That each mention of her name
And each nod to the past
Just keep reviving my pain
It overwhelmingly lasts

Continue reading “Careless”

Not done yet

It’s been a while since I put pen to page
Fighting the darkness on each step of the way
I’m making ground and I’m forging on
I’m feeling a heaviness but I’m willing it gone
I don’t want to give in to the relentless hours
But I can feel it pulling, swallowing desires
Taking my passions one pen stroke at a time
Telling me I’m not good enough, I must still try
I have been doing better with each passing week
But will take a little while longer getting back to my feet
Hiding it from those I love – admitting I’m lost, it’s easy to forget
The times I’ve come trough this… I’m not done yet