Dear Anyone

Sometimes Dear Anyone,
Is the deepest call from your heart.
From the core of your cries it’s deafening,
Anyone. Just anyone. Can Anyone be there?
To feel my pain and comfort the cries?
Sometimes Dear Anyone,
Is the shrillist cry from your heart.
From the syncipated beating of your veins,
Anyone, Just anyone, Can anyone hear my call?
To sooth my horrors and comfort my pains?
Sometimes Dear Anyone,
Is the last resort from your fingers as they fly
Across your keyboards in the guise of “any chance you’re free?”
Anyone. Dear God. Please. Anyone.
Can you call back to me?

Intangible

The mirror shard glistens
Calling to my inner darkness
As a whole, the cause of so many questions
As a part, the subduing of so much pain
The silver shimmers
Calling to my inner darkness
As a whole, it consumes and overwhelms
As a part, it causes distrust and shame
The darkness echoes
Calling to the shard of light
As a whole, it is somehow poetical
As a part, it is somewhat the same
The shard beacons
Calling to something bigger than me
Hoping to make sense of the pain
As a whole, causing friction and anger
As a part, adding clarity – much in vain,
Make it real,
Give it a voice,
Make me feel,
Take away choice,
Use the beauty of the solid silver river
That cuts through falseness like a charm
To reflect the pain that’s intangible
And give me the power over my demons to disarm

Ghost’ed, before

Seeing people who don’t hear you
Fading out as soon as other start to hit their stride
Your heart beat deafening you
With the agony of passing time

Talking with a voice that won’t carry
Dissolving into the air as soon as they’re formed
Lungs as flighty as a hummingbird
When you feel constricted and realisation dawns

Being in places that you don’t fit
Breaking the mould by simply breathing the air
Bones aching to be somewhere known
As you decide that you’re not goin’a care

Something inside you begins to burn bright
As you realise the fear makes you want to take flight
Simultaneously your choice as certain as a storm
Says no more to ghosting, time for a new norm
You take a deep breath feeling ghost’ed like before
To take a minute, call it out… not now, and no more.

Drifting

Sometimes it’s the small things
The beat
The moment
The suspension of attention
When a screen is more interesting than you
When the laugh is somehow disconnected
The look is skips a beat and no longer lingers
When the fondness is still there but distracted
And those small things
Combined with a name
A glance at the wrong moment
Hold your breath
Feel the kiss
And then the truth

Continue reading “Drifting”

Rain, reflected

The rain thunders lightly on the floor,
With each tap-thud-drip my heart sinks some more
The greyness and the thunder
Like the beast inside my chest
Pulling at the fractured shards
Never stopping, he’ll never rest
The rain reflects the light in each falling gem
Like the flicker in my heart that I’ll be whole once again
The dancing of the light
Like the sprite inside my mind
Holding onto the smallest glimmer
Knowing it will pass in time
The rain runs and runs, pouring across the scene
Like the cascading fear and tears I choke-back; not to be seen
The lightening startles, it cuts
Like your words through my facade
Intricate, beautiful but broken
Why do I let down my guard
The rain thunders, reflects and runs, like a river to a stream
I’m saddened by how much it still hurts that you could be so false with me

Not done yet

It’s been a while since I put pen to page
Fighting the darkness on each step of the way
I’m making ground and I’m forging on
I’m feeling a heaviness but I’m willing it gone
I don’t want to give in to the relentless hours
But I can feel it pulling, swallowing desires
Taking my passions one pen stroke at a time
Telling me I’m not good enough, I must still try
I have been doing better with each passing week
But will take a little while longer getting back to my feet
Hiding it from those I love – admitting I’m lost, it’s easy to forget
The times I’ve come trough this… I’m not done yet

Morning light 

Waking up with a lightness in my mind,
As I realise it’s only a matter of time.
The sunlight breaks through the cracks,
Seeking, tripping, pouring a delightful attack
On darkness, it slices and tumbles in a dance.
A complimentary juxtaposition, cutting silence,
The dust swims between these realms,
Like their dreams are fighting fears at the helm –
Jutting, falling landing on my skin,
Their ferocious fragility echoes within.
A touch you can see but not feel with any weight
But the comforting warmth of the beams, that I break
With my hands, as they tango in light with the dust,
Reminds me beauty is there – if you look hard enough.

Contrast

When I can see the sun
But not feel it on my skin
When I can hear the music
And my heart won’t tune in
When I see your eyes alight
But the tenderness is gone
When I’m taking strides
Pretending to be strong
In it there’s despair as black as the night
But in me there’s one last flicker, one last fight

Didn’t you know?

Didn’t anyone tell you?
She’s gone, the girl you knew
I’m an illusion of what you saw
Helping to carry her through
Through the “good morning!”
The daily jibes and jokes fly
The facade and feverish delightedness
Until I carry her home to cry

Didn’t anyone tell you?
She’s not sleeping, not laughing
I’m keeping her together now
She’s too vulnerable, a fragile thing
She’s still captivated by your lies
Lead through a dance by your games
I’m desperately keeping her hidden
In the hope she’ll return one day

Didn’t anyone tell you?
How you broke her heart, didn’t she?
Too afraid you’d laugh and shrug
She didn’t because she’s not me
So that’s why I’m here, finding my way
Through her ferocious white fear
Taking hold of her shattered heart
So that all you see is one tear

Didn’t anyone tell you?
How she’s an echo, tethered to despair
Whilst I’m hunting for hope in her heart
She falters, flinches at each glare
With a heavy heart I begin again each day
But with each day I’m more strong
Because I can see she’s not totally lost
I can see she’s still holding on