Out of reach

There’s a moment

In this turbulence

The trepidation as I step up to the crossroads

Where I realise

There’s a disturbance

The fear holds my heart steadfast as it implodes

In that moment

I realise, as my heart splits

There’s this void in myself that can’t be made complete

I’m still in love with you, despite it all

But I simply want to live

Is it too much to ask

Of my heart

To ask of you

Without falling further

Without falling apart

The life I have.

Not on the edge of what’s out of reach

Captivated

Intoxicated by you

I can’t resist your heart

But you tell me you still love me

And it tears me apart

Enraptured by you

It’s always like a dream

But you’ve chosen head over heart

So you will never again choose me

Infatuated with you

The way we connect the way we spark

But you’ve made your choice with no regrets

Whilst I’m trapped inside your heart

Captivated in a desire that is required

To never be, and yet forever be yours

Bad timing

It was just bad timing
As you always said it was
When we fell, when we met
When you left, I was bereft

It was just bad timing
As you always knew it was
When we kissed, when we fell
When I lost myself, heartbroken hell

Bad timing
Syncopated love
Taken in stolen seconds
Shared in vain
Bad timing
Syncopated hearts
Loving in moments
Left in pain

It was just bad timing
As you always saw it was
When you held me, when we cared
When we were broken, and scared

It was just bad timing
As I always knew it could be
When you said you could fall in love
And I was too scared to say the truth

Bad timing
Syncopated love
Taken in stolen seconds
Shared in vain
Bad timing
Syncopated hearts
Loving in moments
Left in pain

It was just bad timing
As I always feard it was
When I head you’d met someone else
And I was too deluded to tell

It was just bad timing
We both knew it all along
When we fell, into and out of
Whatever we had, it was never enough

Bad timing
Syncopated love
Taken in stolen seconds
Shared in vain
Bad timing
Syncopated hearts
Loving in moments
Left in pain

Dear J Doe

Dear unknown, my John or Jane doe

So it’s been a short while since I wrote, 

Anything.

A poem, a micro poem or even a rhyming couplet. 

I’ve been back under a cloud, sad to say it’s been a dark week or so, 
I want to get back out of the rut. So I’m writing this. 

A letter into the abyss 

Of online semantical depths of a potential echo. 
They say to write what you know, 

What’s true to you, say it as so. 

But sometimes that’s not something anyone would want to read. 

I always try to write for ‘another me’ to pay it forward 

To those who may take comfort that they are not alone,

Or just because I see, feel or hear something poetical. 

Self indulgent really, to a point. 
I hope to be back in my stride soon 

But to write what I know 

Write and feel what I feel 

Can sometimes feel 

More 

More precarious 

Than keeping it bottled up inside. 

So, dear John, the John Doe – or Jane, 

What’s in a name? 
I hope you’ll take my silence as read. 

I want to believe it’s a strength, 

Protecting those to whom some of my demons are tethered, 

In some vein hope I can retain a sense of hope. 
Hope, my current endeavour. 
I’ll be back on scribbles, 

I’ll be drawing and sketching again.
But for now my heart and mind need protection 

From my passionate desire and dark passengers

Who haunt me

Taunt me.
This letter is a declaration of hope. 

A shout to those on the edge of despair, 

Join me on the brink of somethingness, 

A defiant gesture to the ghosts and apprehension 

That haunt. 

And taunt.

So… I –

I thank you for reading, 

Dear John and/or Jane,

And I hope to be with you, 

Be back, 

Living.

Again.

Sincerely,

Doe

Thanks for your ongoing support folks, much appreciated,

Be well and stay strong, 

Josie xx

The dead of night

In the dead of night I miss you
In the silences we share in those forced moments together
Where circumstance meets desire

In the dead of night I’m lost
In the moments that were forced to share we delight
And yet am burning with inferior fire

In the dead of my eyes I’m living
In the loveless moments once filled with such comfort
I see only the pain in the shadows of your heart

In the dead of the silence I’m overwhelmed
In the beautiful moments we still have as ghosts
I feel only the echo once I’m alone and we’re apart

In the dead of my thoughts I’m searching
For some unforeseen moments with someone new
Some time and space a sudden change to life and break away

In the dead of my thoughts I hear your words
The moments and declarations haunt me and draw me in
Into your smile, the joviality – but I know I must control my way

In the dead of our love  I’m lost without you
These moments of friendship seem so fickle
I trust in your sincerity but I have to move on, I’m grieving

In the dead of our love I’m lost without you
The moments of truth seem so trite
I fall into your fondness but I have to be strong I’m leaving

Goodbye.
I love you.
But it has to be as fiends.

Goodbye, I love you, I’m tired with the pretend.
Only in the dead of night do I still feel this way

So I have to move on, cut myself free
In the dead of night I still love you
In the dead of night you still hurt me
In the dead of night this confused clarity
Makes what I must do all too clear to see

Delicious

Delicious irony mocks my memories
As I realise it’s gone
The heart break and thunder
Pain pulling back but driving on

Acute omnipresent pain
In my heart, the burning fire
At the moment you declare
You admit to me your desire
As I realise mine’s faded
The intricate lies we lived together
All the magic is gone
All the threads that were tethered

I’ve cut loose from my blind loyalty
And when I finally hear the words
I thought I longed for
I feel nothing, not even hurt
All I feel are the ghosts of pain
Enough to remind me
Not to go there again

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Heart.

Your smile;
Greets me,
Your eyes;
Meet mine,
When you’re here;
I know I’ll be fine,
Your eyes;
Like sapphires,
Your skin;
Like porcelain,
You make my world;
Light up again.

Your eyes;
So alive,
Your mouth;
Devine,
You make me;
Feel free from time,
You’re here,
In my world;
When you laugh;
Your fingers curl,
Around my own,
You’re in my world.

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