Drifting

Sometimes it’s the small things

The beat

The moment

The suspension of attention

When a screen is more interesting than you

When the laugh is somehow disconnected

The look is skips a beat and no longer lingers

When the fondness is still there but distracted

And those small things

Combined with a name

A glance at the wrong moment

Hold your breath

Feel the kiss

And then the truth

It’s all in your head

Relief

Distance is un-quantifiable

Between breaths

Between beats

But when its there

Your heart sinks

Or the delusion

Is it all in your head?

Sometimes it’s the small things

The beat

The moment

The suspension of attention

And you suddenly realise…

You’re… drifting

Out of reach

There’s a moment

In this turbulence

The trepidation as I step up to the crossroads

Where I realise

There’s a disturbance

The fear holds my heart steadfast as it implodes

In that moment

I realise, as my heart splits

There’s this void in myself that can’t be made complete

I’m still in love with you, despite it all

But I simply want to live

Is it too much to ask

Of my heart

To ask of you

Without falling further

Without falling apart

The life I have.

Not on the edge of what’s out of reach

Crash

Hitting reality with a crash

When I’m reminded how you don’t want me 

After a week of chatter from over seas

Your hot-and-cold returns, my heart re-breaks and my hopes flee 

Thanks for the hope

And thanks for the intoxicating charm

And thanks for the cold hard truth

As the floor falls away, I’m suddenly disarmed