Double negative

I can’t not love you

Just because 

They say it’s better in the long run

I can’t not feel comfort

In your smile

Just because our future’s gone 

I can’t not feel empty 

I remember it’s gone

Just because you’ve moved on

I can’t not love you

Just because 

I say it’s easier now that you’re gone

I can move on 

Whilst I still love you 

I can hold the conflict as I run

I can’t unlove you

I don’t want to

Just because your love has gone 

I can’t unfeel or unsee

Everything good you were to me

I know that’s better in the long run

Heart of Gold

“She’s got a heart of Gold”

They say through their smiles

“She’s got such a good heart”

They say, delighted, in denial 

For it’s what they don’t see

That makes it truly shine

It’s the shadows she keeps hidden

That make her kindness devine 
For the fractures and splinters 

Of that self-same heart of Gold

And the kindness and empathy

Of which is always told

“She’s got such a pure kindness”

They say on a whim 

“Always thinking of others”

Never looking within
But it’s the shadows and darkness

Of such depth and dispair 

A cadaverous heart-ache

That never reaches the air

Her hands always reach out

As her smiles do to her eyes

A mere cloak for an emptiness 

That all her efforts must abide  
But her heart of Gold

And the delight seen by others

Takes a little of the sting 

Out of the darkness uncovered 

She truly does care 

It’s a prophecy to fulfill 

Her heart of Gold 

Can help keep her thoughts still
So a thank you to all

Who encourage her so

Your perception of her Golden heart

Is a cornerstone of her hope

The courage that you give her

And the hope that you may steer

Help to bring light into her eyes

And dullness to her fear

Ghost

Whilst I still have to see you 

Every day

Every moment 

Will keep you 

Ghost

To

Me

Of what we were

The happiness

We 

Had

And how 

You let me

Feel

Good enough 

Thanks

For taking that away 

Too

My heart

My hope

My love

My self worth

And my delight 

I loved you

Worse

You let me

F

A

L

L

In 

Love

With you

I forgive your heart

But 

I won’t

Forget

How you 

Let me

Feel,

As surely

As

You

Let me 

F

A

L

L

.

I was always real

Always full

Always 

Wholeheartedly

Yours.

Yours,

Faithfully,

Sweetheart.

But life

As they say

Goes 

On…

Heart.

Your smile;
Greets me,
Your eyes;
Meet mine,
When you’re here;
I know I’ll be fine,
Your eyes;
Like sapphires,
Your skin;
Like porcelain,
You make my world;
Light up again.

Your eyes;
So alive,
Your mouth;
Devine,
You make me;
Feel free from time,
You’re here,
In my world;
When you laugh;
Your fingers curl,
Around my own,
You’re in my world.

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Rose

screen-shot-2016-11-13-at-16-38-25I’m a promise, an apology, a gift and a hope
Desired with bold colours, I reach towards the light
Helping to hide tears, hoping I find a true smile,
A beautiful, intoxicatingly simple delight
Accompanied frequently with a stroke of a pen
And embellished and glorified by ribbon & prose
I’m his tribute, his gesture, his hope and his love
I’m a glimpse of forgiveness, requited true love,
I am the rose, his rose
Your Rose

Too late

A poem about a woman unable to overcome her fear of trusting and sharing her feelings with the one she loved

My heart waits for unrequitedness
And then my speech is free
My mind tells me I’m safe to feel
When hearts no longer feel for me
It’s a pattern of behaviour
And a rhythm I can’t break
It’s my heart and head I battle
Then my confession comes too late
I’ve loved and lost before
I’ve always wanted to resolve
I’ve never understood myself,
Or how my head and heart revolve,

It’s my fault, my selfish stuttering, my emotion – I’ve denied
When you asked me and you held me
My mouth shut me away and lied

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The Shrew

A soliloquy for Katerina in Taming Of The Shrew; how she feels about her father’s lack of understanding & his devotion to her sister

Katerina:

O’he knows not how I need not to love,
How I need not no man to take my heart in his.
They lack the tact and empathetic sentiment
To truly care for or woo such a tender soul that of a woman,
Their hearts and minds are all but rough in their thinking,
looking to prove and impress, to compete and to win
They fight and duel for love, they do not relish and enjoy it.
I will enjoy, I will relish, I will exploit my empathetic soul
And I will fight to meet my match, may no man derive any other means
Nor challenge me, for though I love like a woman
I can fight like a man for that love.
My bitterness is but a veil to infuriate the subjective nature of my father’s love,
He, above all men, proves that beauty is more to a man than spirit,
My spirit is as much-mellow as he desires but shall not appear so
Until one worthy of such vulnerability is near to my heart.
My father loves my sister for her simplicity, her beauty and her flirtatious manner,
She draws in money, attention and bewilderments
Which can only benefit him and his purpose,
I on the other hand… disappoint. But soft, here comes my sister.

Love, Juxtaposed

A love that feels inevitable, but knowing it’s not right or possible; tangling with the conflict of emotions

Do I leave you behind, to be like memories I’ve known,
Because I can’t have you, because I’m alone.
If I tell you, you’ll be stuck, as I find myself now,
But between requited-unrequitedness,
and that solemn golden vow.
Jealousy tells my heart you are beautiful,
Desire tells my heart what’s more meaningful.
My heart with cautious delight says ‘go on’
I’m lost in your divinity, I’m lost in your song
But the pain says you’ll walk away
I’m lost in your talents,
you take my breath away
Honesty tells my heart you’re not right for me
Truth tells my heart that it will break, but it will be

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Unrequited

It’s an eternal conflict and love,
It’s a fear I can’t place
If I can’t open up my heart and give-in to your embrace
How fast my heart broke
When I saw you with another,
Like lightening, like a spark, with my love left uncovered

I gathered my courage, to hope and to show
Prepared to open my heart and say it so you’d know
How quickly that melted, how fast it did fly
When I realised you held me not in your eyes