I saw the shape of your words as you spoke
But I couldn't hear my cry
I felt the air change as you left
But I hadn't heard goodbye
I saw the angst in your reddened eyes
But I couldn't hear your words
I tripped over your words as you left
But I swear I just hadn't heard
I saw your mouth form the phrases
We've all heard before
But I couldn't hear your goodbye
As it pulled shut the door
I knew it in every fracture of my heart
I felt it in the air and in every breath...
I had seen the words and heard the sounds
But I couldn't hear your goodbye as you left
What if those moments never laboured
Never toyed with time
What if the voices I heard weren't alone
What if there was a power to denying
What if I never closed my eyes
To shake you from my sight
What if I never pushed you away
And we never had that fight
I love you
An excerpt from a monologue as part of my 'Cabaret of Confessions' suite.
Courage? What is courage?
It's survival, I guess.
I survived you.
Heartbreak can be full of emptiness.
So empty you're full of it.
Overwhelming; energy in absence, anger, tears.
I used mine, did you?
In a passion of bad timing and good intentions my life changed... I guess I just didn't know it yet
A poem from the point of view of post-break-up, trying to choose to move on.
It would be so easy to hate you
Or the way you make me feel
The way you make it all okay
Whilst my heart breaks
- But I can't
It would be so helpful to be angry
Or shout and cry out and kneel
The way I forgive you on sight
Whilst my heart breaks
- But it isn't
A free-written poem about a journey through a final goodbye to a loved one, as part of a Grand Guignol suite of monologues in poetic and free verse 'Cabaret of Confessions'
Published on Spillwords in 2016
As she gazes into her eyes can she see the pain,
Will she see the shadows, will she see the shame,
She can see the love, she can see the light,
She can feel the pull, feel her chest coiled tight,
She hopes her heart won't break as she tears away,
Will she hear it crack and feel her fingertips stray,
As they grasp onto the moment that's no longer real
As they clutch for hands that can no longer feel.
Lost reaches — brush nothing, her heart begins to flake
Her soul hopes for sleep and the longing lays awake.
Would she really be missed, her mind starts to break
To feel like she belongs, what would it take...
Love like thunder, as light and as fickle as the promises now unspoken.
A poem about finding the beauty and trying to hold onto the positive after a broken heart.
Published on Spillwords 2016
What's your favourite moment?
The question is often posed,
A recent, beautiful moment,
With hopes and hearts deposed.
And in an instant I can see it,
Feel your body, smell your skin,
Because the beautiful favourite moment,
Is when I end and you begin.
I can still feel my arms around you,
Hear the song as the needle coasts,
The melody, the pedantic cracklings,
The record player contains these Ghosts.