Skip, breathe, leap

There’s a moment, an unquantifiable measure of sound,
of time, of intention and of desire
Where a heart-skip descends into a heart-break
Or a heart-break lifts to a heart-skip; like fire.
Take that ghostly uncertainty by the hand and be found,
in that moment, that heart-beat, that breath
Where first-love descends into love-lost
Or love-lost gives live to new-love; what’s next?

To take chance by the horns, leap into that heart-beat-skip-break
And know that this chance on your secret love, was your chance to take.
Stifled and stilted like your words as you untangle
to make sense of the metaphors by which your muse is strangled.

Continue reading “Skip, breathe, leap”

Captivated

Intoxicated by you
I can’t resist your heart
But you tell me you still love me
And it tears me apart
Enraptured by you
It’s always like a dream
But you’ve chosen head over heart
So you will never again choose me
Infatuated with you
The way we connect the way we spark
But you’ve made your choice with no regrets
Whilst I’m trapped inside your heart
Captivated in a desire that is requited
To never be, and yet forever be yours

Bad timing

It was just bad timing
As you always said it was
When we fell, when we met
When you left, I was bereft

It was just bad timing
As you always knew it was
When we kissed, when we fell
When I lost myself, heartbroken hell

Bad timing
Syncopated love
Taken in stolen seconds
Shared in vain
Bad timing
Syncopated hearts
Loving in moments
Left in pain

Continue reading “Bad timing”

Run

Sometimes the desire to run
Takes over from everything you love
The job, the family, the friends you have
will be lost, unforgotten, loved and yet, gone
As you acknowledge their kindness
But fail to see, how settled in their love
You can ever truly be

I want to run
I want to escape
Because the love I had
Won’t ever really be
The life I thought
Not the life I knew
Will my heart ever be
Truly free of you?

Continue reading “Run”

In another life

You said, in another life,
You said, if only 20 years ago,
You said, you couldn’t because,
And then, we carried on in our glow.

You said, you could fall in love,
You said, you wished you could give
me everything you felt I deserved,
And then, I watched you live

You said, if only we met before
You said, in another life
You said, you could fall in love
Now I see you with her, it’s like a knife

I say, I never asked for much
I say, I fell for you hard
I say, I deserved better
I feel my heart wrench apart

I say, you were a coward and cruel,
Just disappearing, you could’ve just said
I say, you never gave me a chance
Sadly…
I say all this –
In my head

A Chance

It’s been hard to take, and hold two things as one
Understanding that I’m hurt, yet my feelings for you are gone
Not forgotten, not dead, not nothing,
Just not breaking and twisting and turning.

How can that be, that these two are okay,
That it hurts like nothing else, that I lost you in that way
That I care, that I miss, that I cry
But for the past, for hope, for what’s denied

It made no sense, and for so long I fought
The pain meant I still loved you, or so I had thought
And I do, and I did, and I don’t as I did
This new equilibrium means both can live

Continue reading “A Chance”

Contrast

When I can see the sun
But not feel it on my skin
When I can hear the music
And my heart won’t tune in
When I see your eyes alight
But the tenderness is gone
When I’m taking strides
Pretending to be strong
In it there’s despair as black as the night
But in me there’s one last flicker, one last fight

Didn’t you know?

Didn’t anyone tell you?
She’s gone, the girl you knew
I’m an illusion of what you saw
Helping to carry her through
Through the “good morning!”
The daily jibes and jokes fly
The facade and feverish delightedness
Until I carry her home to cry

Didn’t anyone tell you?
She’s not sleeping, not laughing
I’m keeping her together now
She’s too vulnerable, a fragile thing
She’s still captivated by your lies
Lead through a dance by your games
I’m desperately keeping her hidden
In the hope she’ll return one day

Didn’t anyone tell you?
How you broke her heart, didn’t she?
Too afraid you’d laugh and shrug
She didn’t because she’s not me
So that’s why I’m here, finding my way
Through her ferocious white fear
Taking hold of her shattered heart
So that all you see is one tear

Didn’t anyone tell you?
How she’s an echo, tethered to despair
Whilst I’m hunting for hope in her heart
She falters, flinches at each glare
With a heavy heart I begin again each day
But with each day I’m more strong
Because I can see she’s not totally lost
I can see she’s still holding on

Crash

Hitting reality with a crash

When I’m reminded how you don’t want me 

After a week of chatter from over seas

Your hot-and-cold returns, my heart re-breaks and my hopes flee 

Thanks for the hope

And thanks for the intoxicating charm

And thanks for the cold hard truth

As the floor falls away, I’m suddenly disarmed

Glass

Like splintered glass

Your words pierce silence

Pulling me back

Abruptly comforting

Transparently cutting

Through noise,

Thank you