In another life

You said, in another life,
You said, if only 20 years ago,
You said, you couldn’t because,
And then, we carried on in our glow.

You said, you could fall in love,
You said, you wished you could give
me everything you felt I deserved,
And then, I watched you live

You said, if only we met before
You said, in another life
You said, you could fall in love
Now I see you with her, it’s like a knife

I say, I never asked for much
I say, I fell for you hard
I say, I deserved better
I feel my heart wrench apart

I say, you were a coward and cruel,
Just disappearing, you could’ve just said
I say, you never gave me a chance
Sadly…
I say all this –
In my head

Morning light 

Waking up with a lightness in my mind,
As I realise it’s only a matter of time.
The sunlight breaks through the cracks,
Seeking, tripping, pouring a delightful attack
On darkness, it slices and tumbles in a dance.
A complimentary juxtaposition, cutting silence,
The dust swims between these realms,
Like their dreams are fighting fears at the helm –
Jutting, falling landing on my skin,
Their ferocious fragility echoes within.
A touch you can see but not feel with any weight
But the comforting warmth of the beams, that I break
With my hands, as they tango in light with the dust,
Reminds me beauty is there – if you look hard enough.

Contrast

When I can see the sun
But not feel it on my skin
When I can hear the music
And my heart won’t tune in
When I see your eyes alight
But the tenderness is gone
When I’m taking strides
Pretending to be strong
In it there’s despair as black as the night
But in me there’s one last flicker, one last fight

Crash

Hitting reality with a crash

When I’m reminded how you don’t want me 

After a week of chatter from over seas

Your hot-and-cold returns, my heart re-breaks and my hopes flee 

Thanks for the hope

And thanks for the intoxicating charm

And thanks for the cold hard truth

As the floor falls away, I’m suddenly disarmed

Memory

In the coldness of night

And the darkness wraps around her

She closes her eyes to eacape

From the thoughts that find her

Back to a moment 

When contentment was home

Where she felt at one

She’s not lost or alone

Stepping into the memory

She looks up to the sky

Where she sees the clouds

Lingering, slowly drifting by 

The feeling of smallness

As planes leave ghosts

Distantly and tenderly

Slicing the sky, they boast

Freedom and defiance

Coasting round the world

Did they know the dreams

Of this little girl

She had dreamt of being one

And seeing what lies beyond

Where these metal birds flew

Over fluorescent horizons

And now as she sits on the grass

In the golden glow of summer

She catches sight of these birds 

And is reminded of her 

But sees the birds now 

In their metal and their stealth

On a track and on course

She whispers to herself 

“Their just like me”

The world’s beyond and 

Defiance of limits 

Where the illusion of freedom

And the dream that went with it

But the warm breeze comfort her

And the grass take her hand

She was contented with life

No matter those little girls plan

Not free as a bird 

But free as a plane 

She opens her eyes

And it’s gone again. 

The dead of night

In the dead of night I miss you
In the silences we share in those forced moments together
Where circumstance meets desire

In the dead of night I’m lost
In the moments that were forced to share we delight
And yet am burning with inferior fire

In the dead of my eyes I’m living
In the loveless moments once filled with such comfort
I see only the pain in the shadows of your heart

In the dead of the silence I’m overwhelmed
In the beautiful moments we still have as ghosts
I feel only the echo once I’m alone and we’re apart

In the dead of my thoughts I’m searching
For some unforeseen moments with someone new
Some time and space a sudden change to life and break away

In the dead of my thoughts I hear your words
The moments and declarations haunt me and draw me in
Into your smile, the joviality – but I know I must control my way

In the dead of our love  I’m lost without you
These moments of friendship seem so fickle
I trust in your sincerity but I have to move on, I’m grieving

In the dead of our love I’m lost without you
The moments of truth seem so trite
I fall into your fondness but I have to be strong I’m leaving

Goodbye.
I love you.
But it has to be as fiends.

Goodbye, I love you, I’m tired with the pretend.
Only in the dead of night do I still feel this way

So I have to move on, cut myself free
In the dead of night I still love you
In the dead of night you still hurt me
In the dead of night this confused clarity
Makes what I must do all too clear to see

Time

Time stands still, but the world rushes by
She waits and wonders, no longer can she cry
She pushes for time, she pulls back the world
Longing for comfort as her fears unfurl

She feels her mind race as her heart stops a beat
Chasing the world, turning, her tumbling thoughts retreat
She looks to the sky for the hope of a cloud
A reason to feel darkness and speak her fears aloud

She glances at the floor as her stomach falls and flips
That falling feeling engulfs in a second, but the ground is solid where she sits
She’s chasing time as she just sits
Chasing through memories and the bitter ‘what if’

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Midnight 

Midnight, my old friend
It’s not been so long –
This morning, and the last,
These past days have gone,
Reliable in name,
Varied in nature
Presenting crossroads in starlight
A new day, new adventure

But it’s time to sleep
The world is in slumber
Whilst we’re still awake
And my mind starts to wander
Stuck in a loop
Of days upon days
With hours upon minutes
My sleep won’t behave

Set by two hands
And a face to call home
I’m caught in the clock
As you make time your own
But you playfully creep
Making nonsense of time
Closing in faster
On each day of mine

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